a messy desk means...

hi kids

can you find, on my work desk, the following :

Fraggle Rock DVDs
Letter opener
FedEx bill
What I am supposed to be doing
my vocatus (hint: it may not be there at all)

2 coldplay songs have the lyric:

"if you never try then you'll never know"


UPDATE: If you look closely, you will see under the pile o' crap, that my desk calendar is still on July 2008. And of course, this is October.

Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit

sunday i went to probation camp

cassandra had me come to work with her to film the play she helped these young men write

they are in a probation camp in san dimas

i am very proud of cassandra

children need help in our world, children that are born to children, being raised by children

and when they get older and screw up they still need help...

you'd be surprised how wide a mind can be opened in a moment

this is saturday october 4 2008 in north hollywood

finally, a day that felt Fall-like here Los Angeles... foggy, slightly chilly

(may I take a moment to curse blogger for the ridiculous difficulty it seems to have uploading simple photos? this is taking forever!)

we went to EAT and then bucks and then vinvoks, and stayed in the valley until dinner at zankou

i had a low-grade persistent headache all day

i dreamt of a badger last night. it was in the backyard of the house I grew up in. i squirted it with a hose to encourage it to move along, but it LOVED it. it closed its eyes and relished the water flowing over its badgery face. it moved closer. soon it had broken through the screen onto the porch, then it was in the kitchen. i nudged it with my foot and it rolled on its back like a dog. i expected it to go all feral and bite me any second, but it was a pretty gentle, rolly-polly (sp?) badger.

i tried to warn my parents and enlist their help in getting the badger out of the house, but ultimately I just nudged him out with my foot all by myself.

what the hell does that mean?

this site tells me:

A badger is a fierce little animal and to see this fellow in a dream will show that you have put up quite a fight and won out over your opponents. An injured Badger tells you to fight another day.

shocking

cassandra shared this with me just now- it's a year old.

watching klein on colbert, she caused a little a chill when she pointed out that the last act of the bush robber-baron era is the bailing out of their friends

they didn't do all of their dirty work right under our noses- they did it right before our eyes

monkey boy

my sister sent this picture of me when i got my cool planet of the apes mask and gun for christmas back in 197whatever. i wore it in the car up to our cousin's in bear mountain and stared at all the people in the passing cars. I remember that it collected lots of saliva in the mouth area, or maybe i was just having trouble breathing...

I like this picture- didn't know it existed... i was a pretty skinny little kid- i only remember being a fat little kid...

I'm in a transitional phase these days, so I see meaning in everything- here is my inner child, masked as a monkey (brewing a stew of monkey-mind only to be unraveled 30 years or so later - i hope) armed and poised for battle

monkey boy warrior

delaware joe and the snowbilly

i'm about to watch sarah palin write tina fey's material for this weekend's SNL


"nice to meetcha, hey can I call you Joe?"

here we go...

lame birthday video

this may be my lamest youtube yet

consider it a video version of my birthday post

imagine you were with me as i grew older in hollywood, way back on september 28th, 2008

how i spent my birthday

i already commented on turning 41 and how it's a rather dull number. i won't go into how i am trying to define my "crisis" as a "transition" and other navel-gazing mumbo jumbo

but i do think a blogger i recently discovered said it too, and better:

heading east on turning 41 check out his interesting blog and photos- his turning 40 post is good too...


went to the west hollywood book fair, oh- had a puppet show last night where i made up a cheer about jeffrey dahmer- i felt dirty afterwards. i also made a hot dug puppet, as mr. belvedere, hit on a minor at the craft services table... improv+booze+pupppets=depravity
bought these
this guy is the king of these women

later we went to jimmy kimmel's san gennaro italian festival in our neighborhood
what is this thing?





it reminded me of the st. anthony's italian festival i used to attend in wilmington when i was a lad... it was like being back on the east coast in the middle of hollywood... south philly with palm trees...

tom tells us tales of burning man

still becoming

Words cannot express, explain
My relationship with time and things done and undone
And how they feel in my gut in my chest behind my eyes
Children never to be born
Aging- trying to learn to outsmart existence itself, as I have always tried to do…
Still becoming, still

i will not be 40 for very much longer

every night I tell myself I am the cosmos...




this is my last week as a 40 year old.

the first 3/4 of my 40th year was easy-breezy

then I got hit with a lot of THINKING that I have tried to deal with mindfully

people tell me being sensitive and suffering (which I try to remind my self is optional) makes me who I am and all that, but man I could really use a break from this head of mine that I seem to have crammed up my ass

5 was a special birthday

16 was pretty good, with the driving...

21 I must have thought was going to be awesome but I was already drinking, so what's the big deal?

25 blew my little mind... that was my mid-life crisis, right there... just thought I'd get a head start

41... what's so special about 41? 40 is the top of the hill. 41 is what? the pregnant pause before the roller coaster starts the mad rush?

I hope to enjoy it all much more that I have been capable of as of yet.

Jung, man. It's all about the Jung.

she's gone all right- do you really wonder why?

maybe it's your sleeveless tux shirt, or your pissy glam buddy who can't be bothered to lip synch?




seriously- what is the story behind this?

if spike jonze shot something like this for kanye west today, they'd be buried in VMAs

my three buddhas

that's the grieving one, the meditating one, and the happy one

how can I be all three at once?

san francisco, san francisco

san francisco, san francisco, you're a muttering bum in a brown beat suit -jack kerouac

we have left los angeles for a trip to the home i left home for back in the 90s (after college in philadelphia)

I left a tiny, tiny piece of my heart here- maybe I didn't, maybe that kind of love is not love but is something else that feeds the bad stuff that you shuffle off when you get to a certain age

but what I do know, other than that everybody knows everything, is that the panhandle smells of eucalyptus and even on a hot day in the Haight the fog will come in a like a chilly comforting blanket

I don't think I left my heart here- I think I found it.

get out of the house, go to the beach, nobody is stopping you

today I tried something new and frightening and undoubtedly good for me and i probably should have done it when I was 18 instead of... ahem... 40... but at least i did it, and I'll do it again next week and that's all I'm going to say

then cassandra and I went to venice to escape our cosy village of hollywood. as of now there is sand in my hair and an unbearable lightness of being in my heart

here are some los angeles pictures from sunday august 24th, 2008

high art meets my inner geek

kanye west has a nice gallery of the Vader Project at Celebration Japan.


HERE IT IS

lost angeles pictures

this will cheer you up

rewatching Extras- friggin' brilliant

troubled

recent times have been inexplicably sad, but I'm working on it.

this song sums how i've felt and how i feel



Trouble- Cat Stevens

Trouble
Oh trouble set me free
I have seen your face
And it's too much too much for me

Trouble
Oh trouble can't you see
You're eating my heart away
And there's nothing much left of me

I've drunk your wine
You have made your world mine
So won't you be fair
So won't you be fair

I don't want no more of you
So won't you be kind to me
Just let me go where
I'll have to go there

Trouble
Oh trouble move away
I have seen your face
and it's too much for me today

Trouble
Oh trouble can't you see
You have made me a wreck
Now won't you leave me in my misery

I've seen your eyes
and I can see death's disguise
Hangin' on me
Hangin' on me

I'm beat, I'm torn
Shattered and tossed and worn
Too shocking to see
Too shocking to see

Trouble
Oh trouble move from me
I have paid my debt
Now won't you leave me in my misery

Trouble
Oh trouble please be kind
I don't want no fight
And I haven't got a lot of time




But this will cheer you up- see, there are ups and downs, yins and yangs, and life goes on regardless...

Happy Fourth

Yep, aint been bloggin.

been puppeting- as my new doctor called me, i'm a puppetier...


i've puppetooted the following of late:

this cool movie

this cool live show

and I'm going to appear on-camera on this cool new show, which I puppetooted on before...


lots of fun, and a little tendinitis!

AND i've been gardening. cassandra and I are beginning to grow our own food- gettin' ready for the apocalypse (bush has 199 days left as of today-ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, PEOPLE!)