Sunday, November 26, 2006

Ah, Christmas in America!

RANDI PIERCE/Special to the DURANGO Herald

Bill Trimarco and Lisa Jensen stand next to their peace wreath at their home near Pagosa Springs on Friday. The couple received a letter Tuesday from their subdivision’s homeowners’ association telling them to take down the sign or face a fine of $25 per day.

This is just terrific... we've got one in our window year round- it gets colored lights this time of year. well, that's because i live in the moral cesspool that is Hollywood... which is a real moral cesspool in so many ways, don't get me wrong... but we know that PEACE and JESUS and CHRISTMAS all sort of go together and there ain't no buts about it... you know it's true...

thanksgiving saturday

Thursday, November 23, 2006

another heart stopping thanksgiving update

rumor has it that assosciates in Australia (do you mind if we call you Bruce just to keep things straight?) have been monitoring all the Thanksgiving developments here at the Apocalypse.

Here's a little something just for those in the wonderful world of oz:

this just in

hour two of three how does it look to you?

up to the minute thanksgivblogging

it's a sunny t-day in la, so they tell me- this is where we are as of 2:31 pm PST

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

giving thanks going shopping

one year ago we were in crawford

two years ago we were at food 4 less hollywood

tonight in tinseltown

Friday, November 10, 2006

fridee nite rant

i'm really trying to exorcise this lingering friday night work poison so's i can get on with gettin' on

i am drinking a rolling rock

cassandra is ordering sushi TO BE DELIVERED

we have to write stuff tonight to perform tomorrow night, on the same bill with some rabid mofo conservative whom i shall try not to eviscerate with my improvised witty verbiage- but I'm going to try try try to not let it get me down

Hey- the GHOSTHUNTERS came to work and interviewed me- ME of all people canyoubelieveit but i'm going to come off as the skeptic because I haven't seen a ghost there...

and i've been doing this improv class but it's been really good not the crappy improv that everybody pretends to like because they're programmed to because of those Christopher Guest movies and Whose Line Is It Anyhow and every single god-damned Robin Williams talk show appearance

and on Halloween i worked another day on an ABC sitcom, as a THESPIAN, which was nice- shot a scene on the New York Street set on the Paramount lot and i felt fancy

and raymi left a comment on my blog which makes me feel fancy too

and the DEMOCRATS have gained control of the Congress... i don't even have the words- just a weary smile and a deep breath


Stop this war
impeach both of those devils
President Pelosi? I might not have voted for her, but maybe this country needs a woman to heal us now...actually, I might have voted for her...I likes me some SAN FRANCISCO VALUES!

it's friday

my buzz is coming on

i think i stink a little- but I've earned it


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

i voted, i think

here in Hollywood I went down to my usual polling place at the gay and lesbian community center (how do you like that, red staters?) and there was a full-on haus frau tussle going on between the lady who thinks she should be in charge and the lady that says she's in charge, all about this InkaVote ballot checking equipment

but before I get to that I have to tell you that one of the younger volunteers had her little boy there behind the sign-in desk- the little darling took one look at me and said:

"ooh, mama- he looks just like The Undertaker"

(I thought about offering to embalm the little fucker, but kids will be kids)

so the yammering went on while I tried to concentrate on voting- i checked my little black dots and all looked right, but i really wanted to try this electronic ballot checking machine

which is on another floor. hence the confusion- we at the orange table apparently needed the volunteers to draw a small orange "o" on the back of our ballot before we went downstairs to check the ballot in the (democracy-killing) gizmotron

(this explains why i heard one of the whip-smart volunteers yelling into her cell phone "i been volunteering for 12 years - they didn't tell me at the training nothing about no stairs! now she comin' in here tellin' me what to do- I don't work for her- i'm suppose to tell HER when my peoples are going to lunch? and I aint stayin' here late- no way!")

so i go downstairs and look for the StInkaVote machine- I stuck my ballot in the slot marked INSERT BALLOT HERE and ...nothin'

I notice the touch screen is on a "test" page, and I see the EXIT button- but I figured the volunteers must know what they're doing- the first lady called over some dude- he proceeded, from the "test" page - to touch all of the "test" options

(at this point I'm dying to reach over and tap the EXIT button)

he looks at me and tells me "it's not working" -then the BOSS LADY comes over- the one that caused the lady upstairs to go into her caniption fit- and SHE starts touching all of the "test" buttons

finally, I spoke up- "how about we hit the EXIT key until we get to the start page?"

that worked- good God- three volunteers hovering around this infernal machine and I fixed it

I mean, God bless these people, but I doubt they know how to use an ATM , let alone protect our democratic rights

so in goes the ballot- zip- and boss lady cheerily tells me "that's it!"

well where did my ballot go?

into the machine


(the machine spits out a receipt, which I reach for)

no that's not for you- that's a test receipt

now I thought, since I didn't vote for Senator (f-u! Feinstein- hope your granddaughter doesn't have to go to Iraq!) that that might show up as an "error"

nope- the machine just ate it right up... thank god it has an orange "o" on the back!

so I think i voted...

UPDATE: I went to to find the # to call to CRY "FOUL!" and found this here pdf that explains to me that the gizmotron is actually the pbr and that it did what it was supposed to do... (unless there's a shredder in that god damned thing)

Happy Voting, SUCKERS!

-The Undertaker

Monday, November 06, 2006

vote, you sons of bitches, VOTE!!!!!

well I'm not in Colorado, but I sure wish i could vote for this one...

i'll be voting early tommorrow- and keeping an eye out for the next big STEAL

if the repugs maintain control of the us congress tomorrow, then I swear to god they stole it, and it's TIME

time for the real thing- revolution in the streets...however that manifests itself

here in LA people will probably just bitch about the impeded traffic and welcome Imperial Governor Moff Schwarzenegger's draconian death squads/traffic cops...

we'll see...

Friday, November 03, 2006

Bush Jokes About Missing WMD in Iraq

Thought about making something like this in the wake of the Kerry "botched joke"

Someone beat me to it- here it is. Bush got away with this in 2004- I don't know how.

How many of those laughing in the audience feel like they "support out troops"?

Makes me sick

Thursday, November 02, 2006


William Styron has died.

His Darkness Visible changed my life at a crucial time, and Confessions of Nat Turner is just great.

Norman Mailer, the writer and essayist, told The New York Times: "No other American writer of my generation has had so omnipresent and exquisite a sense of the elegiac. That is no mean virtue in these years."

And I learned a new word.