Thursday, November 25, 2004

"The first Thanksgiving" Posted by Hello

"U.S. tradition associates the holiday with a meal held in 1621 by the Wampanoag and the Pilgrims who settled in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Some of the details of the American Thanksgiving story are myths that developed in the 1890s and early 1900s as part of the effort to forge a common national identity in the aftermath of the Civil War and in the melting pot of new immigrants."

Learn about Thanksgiving here.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Dittoheads are kinda dicks, really

We got an unsolicited e-mail from a gloaty dittohead, but being a dittohead, the e-mail didn't make any real points other than a.) Hillary Clinton is bad for some reason B) Liberals/Democrats need to get over it C) Republicans are a persecuted underclass that need to be treated specially, because they can dish it out but they really, really can't take it.

This dumbfuck sent out this steaming pile of Limbaugh illogic, then cried like a bitch when people wrote back saying "hey-keep it to yourself, Nixon." He sent out an "I didn't mean to offend" repsonse. Oh, c'mon. Be a man. You DID mean to offend. Admit it. I might respect you if you did, but you won't , and I don't. You're dumb.

Why are the meat and potatoes Republicans such a bunch of crybabies?

I didn't reply to the e-mail, other than to say "REMOVE", and if the author strolls by this blog he might say "hey, you got something to say, why don't you e-mail it to my face..."

Here's why: you are not worth my time. I do believe you are dumb, ill-informed, short-sighted, and easily led by your partisan overlords at the EIB Network. Does that surprise you? Um, get over it, or to quote your mouthpiece Bill O'Reilly- SHUT UP.

No, for the next four years I'm not going to respond to your retardation- I'm going move on with my life and oppose your party's tactics and ambitions. But I'm not going to waste my time on "you people." I know what you have to say, because Rush has already said it.

And if you don't like the response you get when you take a crap in people's in-boxes, then go crap in the FreeRepublic boards, you dumb monkey. Or you could try growing up a little bit and take your licks when you pick a fight.

Ronald Reagan would think you were a wuss. I think you're an asshole.

Meanwhile, these OBSCURE CHINESE PROVERBS by Dennis Mahoney at McSweeney's are just the ticket to cleanse the brain from Special Ed Politics of Right Wing Hacks in your life.

Some favorites:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will starve before mastering the skill, thus saving you today's delicious fish.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever and yet appears much wiser than he who asked five minutes ago.

Go forth and boldly seek your fortune! Or go to grad school, I don't care.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Emperor George W. Palpatine

"That was before the Empire... before the Dark Times..." -Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

This from Newsday via Liberal Oasis:

CIA plans to purge its agency
Sources say White House has ordered new chief to eliminate officers who were disloyal to Bush

Knut Royce-Washington Bureau
November 14, 2004
WASHINGTON -- The White House has ordered the new CIA director, Porter Goss, to purge the agency of officers believed to have been disloyal to President George W. Bush or of leaking damaging information to the media about the conduct of the Iraq war and the hunt for Osama bin Laden, according to knowledgeable sources."The agency is being purged on instructions from the White House," said a former senior CIA official who maintains close ties to both the agency and to the White House. "Goss was given instructions ... to get rid of those soft leakers and liberal Democrats. The CIA is looked on by the White House as a hotbed of liberals and people who have been obstructing the president's agenda."

Read it here.

I've been thinking about the similarites between the Bush Adminstration and the rise of Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars films. A quick google-job and I find that those egg(ers)-heads at McSweeney's have beat me to it. I love McSweeney's - it makes me feel cool AND smart, and helps me forget that these are, one way or another, the END TIMES.

Condoleeza Rice as Secretary of State? It seems like everyday is backwards day in Jesusland. Failure=Promotion, Liberation=Heavy Civilian Casualties, 2 + 2 = 5.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Mid-November, 2004, Los Angeles, pre-apocalypse

(the guy in this cartoon looks a lot like me- me sizing up forklifts- choosing my WEAPON)

friday- the truck from canada full of some of America's Most Beloved Family Entertainment Characters was supposed to arrive in Burbank at 10:30 am. At @ 11:00 my migraine forced me to take a snooze on some padding in the storage room... I was sleeping when my forklift operator showed up- still no truck so he had to go... around 3 p.m i said fuggit... how HARD CAN IT BE. So I hopped on that g-d forklift, wiggled the buttons, yanked the levers, twisted a knob or three and wham-bam... I'm an experienced forklift driver, Ma. Another one of those things that people make out to be really really difficult, but it's like driving a power mower- probably easier, actually... I instantly wanted to start lifting stuff.. the dumpster? the shop truck? easy, chief...

I still don't know what the THIRD PEDAL is for... since the thing only has two gears: FWD and RVSE... I did learn that if you are joyriding down in the cul-de-sac, and you mistake the gear shift for the turn signal, and in doing so, you throw the mofo in reverse WHILE DRIVING, well, it ain't no big deal...

so I may be a Hollywood Elitist working in the reviled Entertainment Industry, but I can drive a forklift. Sure, I banged my head getting in it towards the end, but I was drunk with power.

Well, the truck arrived at 6pm... offloaded by 8:00, thanks to P and R and the 2 guys from the truck.. and thanks to the fork lift.

What a nice weekend so far... we brought a gaggle of people to Largo last night to see the trucker, and they were impressed. spreading the gospel. as it twere... I believe I had 4 Bass Ales and one Jack Daniels shot, and was dismayed by the weakness of my 37 year old bladder. I seem to recall it being stronger than that, but so what... I had a good time...and we went to Canter's afterwards, a place everyone should visit at least once in their life, if not more often than that...

Oh, and Cheney had a little shortness of breath yesterday. God's Pee, Dick.

tapping the next blog button brought me here: Thought is Free

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Tapping the NEXT BLOG button...

Tapping the "next blog" button... you never know what you'll find. Sometimes a whole series of blogs written in the same language- some kind of Esperanto. Or a teenage girl's blog from Malaysia - one of those blogs that "rains" pink hearts and messes up my browser.

Via the magic Next Blog button, I just came across Small Precautions and enjoyed his blog about American Populism.

From there I found the link for Fuck the South. Not politically correct- but I'm an "elitist"- I can't help myself.

In the New Republican Era, it will be fun to be the politically incorrect ones for awhile.

(the wife thinks I look like a "terrorist" in this photo. I think I have nice eyes. And ladies, those lashes are real...)

Me? Sorry?

So there's this site out there where Americans are posting photos of themselves holding signs saying they are "sorry" to the world for the outcome of the election.

Can you believe that? That is just... I would never... I mean, it's not my fault that... but I voted for...

(OK- here's mine:)

grrr Posted by Hello

Monday, November 08, 2004

Jesus is a tough sumbitch

You know- I realize that all my poking fun at Jesus might offend some people.

The thing is, I'm not making fun of Jesus. I'm making fun of the people that get offended.

Jesus is a tough sumbitch. Jesus can take it. He doesn't need your help.

These people win the gad-damned clever award:


Buy the shirt- wear it to church. I dare ya!

thank you bad christian and

I love gettin' my war on

If you DON'T feel like navel-gazing, then Get Your War On wants you to know:

It's on.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Thomas Jefferson and the Reign of Witches

Garrison Keillor just read this on A Prairie Home Companion. From one of Thomas Jefferson's letters:

A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass
over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight,
restore their government to it's true principles. It is true that in the mean
time we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war &
long oppressions of enormous public debt. But who can say what would be the
evils of a scission, and when & where they would end? Better keep together
as we are, hawl off from Europe as soon as we can, & from all attachments to
any portions of it. And if we feel their power just sufficiently to hoop us
together, it will be the happiest situation in which we can exist. If the game
runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, &
then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost,
for this is a game where principles are the stake. Better luck, therefore, to us
all; and health, happiness, & friendly salutations to yourself.

Thomas Jefferson

P. S. It is hardly necessary to caution you to let nothing of mine get
before the public. A single sentence, got hold of by the Porcupines, will
suffice to abuse & persecute me in their papers for months.

UPDATE 11-09-04: So, Babs Streisand has posted the same passage on her site? But she edits out that part about "hawling off from Europe." She probably felt that you, dear reader, weren't sophisticated enough to put the quote into historical context. Because she's an elitist. But the important point is: I give credit to Garrison Keillor. I am not about to try to fool you into thinking that I'm the type of guy that has random Jeffersonian quotes rattling around my brain ready to trip off my tongue the second I sense a corollary to these troubled times. No, I'm more likey to come up with a quote from Star Wars.
Like Princess Leia regarding the Bush Iraq Plan:
"This is some rescue- when you came in here didn't you have a plan for getting out?"

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Day 12 Apocalypse Now.

Kerry concedes to Bush.

So you can try to dodge the apocalypse, but you can't avoid it.

Welcome to the Republican States of America.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


bush wins- jack hides

Day 11 Selection Day

Oh, that's just cynical, calling it selection day. Here we are in Phoenix, AZ, watching events unfold on this momentous day.

And wouldn't you know it, there was a bomb scare at a polling place, in an elementary school, near our hotel.

I just tried to find a link to back that up (it's on the AM radio news) but can't find one yet- perhaps the media isn't going to play along with the caller and scare people from voting. They did mention that they've moved the kids from the school, but the polling place is still open. Now that's a courageous vote.

I can't believe this day is here. It's like a dark Christmas- I don't know how it will end. It might be a GREAT day... it might be one of the darkest in my life...

Monitoring the media holed up here in a hotel room in Phoenix- cable news, Air America via the internet.

dodging hq

Zogby predicts Kerry, at Atrios.

Less than three hours until the first polls close.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Day 10 Tuscon AZ to Phoenix, AZ

Monday November 1st

Welcome to Arizona

Scottsdale, Arizona

Saguaro National Park -

for scale

are you in or out? well, close the door, either way. jeesh, muir.

Picacho Peak, Westernmost Civil War battlefield

picacho means peak in spanish

Jack's House - Jack's Mom - Jack's Bar , the Coach House