Thursday, January 20, 2005

Let the Eagle Soar?

8:20 am Inauguration Day.

Is Guy Hovis , crony of Trent Lott and former Lawrence Welk show "star" really singing John Ashcroft's godawful "Let The Eagle Soar" on the steps of the capitol? And did I just see Sen. Hillary Clinton bobbing her head to the "music?"

The next four years might be worse than I thought.

That song is terrible, just terrible. The talent-free end timers are really, really going to fuck this country UP. And they're going to do it with AWFUL music playing in the background.

By the way- in case you haven't noticed, they are using the same techniques of scare-tactics and lies that they used to sell the Iraq war to fool you into gleefully allowing them to decimate social security and government in general.

Lap it up, suckers. It's all one big dumb Texas now.

*Later on Black Thursday, mydd points out this funny CNN headline:

Poll: Nation split on Bush as uniter or divider
"(CNN) -- On the eve of President Bush's inauguration, a poll shows the nation is split over whether he has united or divided the nation, but a majority believe his inauguration festivities should be toned down because of the war.

During the 2000 campaign, Bush promised to be a "uniter, not a divider."

Forty-nine percent of 1,007 adult Americans said in phone interviews they believe Bush is a 'uniter,' according to the CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll released Wednesday. Another 49 percent called him a "divider," and 2 percent had no opinion."

So if the nation is split, that pretty much makes him a divider, doesn't it? Or does division mean union in bushdoublespeak?

*At 11:08 am PST CBS News is reporting protesters armed with rocks and golf balls ready to pelt the motorcade. The rocks could be a problem, but I think the golf balls are meant as gifts.

I wish I had thought to play the Bush Inaugural Address drinking game this morning- take a shot everytime he blubbers on about "freedom".

But then I'd be drunk at work.

(Blooger ate my update-let’s see if I can recreate the humor and the outrage:)

* 12:49 pm PST. He just got out of the car to walk about 10 steps or so. ABC News just interviewed lickspittle Andrew Card. And I just read this on the internets:

Conservatives Pick Soft Target: A Cartoon Sponge

By DAVID D. KIRKPATRICK, The New York Times / AP
WASHINGTON (Jan. 20) - On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr. James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, asked the guests Tuesday night at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and political allies to celebrate the election results.

Ah yes- four more retarded years... they're trying to say SpongeBob is gay. The kids of America aren't thinking that now... but I guess they will soon, thanks to the moral fervor of Dr. James C. Dobson, sponge-hater.

By God Almighty that’s got to be The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Heard ™

Would you like some more dumpidity? Read on , fellow heathen:

Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity."

The video's creator, Nile Rodgers, who wrote the disco hit "We Are Family," said Mr. Dobson's objection stemmed from a misunderstanding. Mr. Rodgers said he founded the We Are Family Foundation after the Sept. 11 attacks to create a music video to teach children about multiculturalism. The video has appeared on television networks, and nothing in it or its accompanying materials refers to sexual identity. The pledge, borrowed from the Southern Poverty Law Center, is not mentioned on the video and is available only on the group's Web site.

Mr. Rodgers suggested that Dr. Dobson and the American Family Association, the conservative Christian group that first sounded the alarm, might have been confused because of an unrelated Web site belonging to another group called "We Are Family," which supports gay youth.

"The fact that some people may be upset with each other peoples' lifestyles, that is O.K.," Mr. Rodgers said. "We are just talking about respect."

Mark Barondess, the foundation's lawyer, said the critics "need medication."

On Wednesday however, Paul Batura, assistant to Mr. Dobson at Focus on the Family, said the group stood by its accusation.

They are standing by their accusation, even though they are targeting the wrong group! I guess you're always right when you've declared God is on your side.

"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," he said. "It is a classic bait and switch."

Sounds more like a classic switch and bait to me, but what do I know? I always call him Squarebob Spongepants. Nice of these moralists to even bring up the spectre of a beloved cartoon character’s sexuality. Maybe they’re jealous that more children know SquareBob than know Baby Jesus ™. Sounds like it's time to change the name to Spongebob Straightpants, or Straightbob Jesusboots, or just plain Jesus Jesuston, or ... or... James Dobson kisses boys... or... I'm losing it here... back to work. America sucks today.

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