From one the Apoplectic Press's Anti-Christmas cards:

If I were Jesus and I dropped by one December to see what the human race had learned from my teachings of love, equity and compassion (for which, incidentally, I was rewarded with torture and crucifixion) only to find a ruthlessly accelerating global epidemic of individualism, possessiveness, debauchery and environmental desecration epitomised by a scandalously lurid, psychotically unsustainable, corporate-sponsored extravaganza of decadence —in honour of my BIRTH!— I would probably beg my father to erase every last trace of the criminally insane human species and start all over again with the amoeba.